The Audition

When they called our numbers, they gathered us in the lobby and made sure we were all there. Then the tasters said they needed a short break, so we were told to relax.

Then they gathered us again and we were told to be excited because they filmed the entrance into the room. There were 20 of us and we were led to our spots.

Once everyone was settled, we were told to get out our applications and then we had 3 minutes to plate our dish. One of the reviewers came over and looked at my ginger oil while I was plating. And I think my dish looked nice, albeit simple, when I finished.

Looking around, there were some very complex and fancy dishes presented. My, soup, however was not as simple as it appears. I hope the flavors bore that out.

We then were encouraged to chat amongst ourselves as the judges circulated and interviewed everyone. They wanted to know what influences your cooking, what all do you cook, they wanted to know about the CSA, etc.

When everyone was interviewed, they deliberated for about 5 minutes and then asked some to stay and released the rest of us. We should hear in about 3 days who moves on.

I just want to shout out to two people in my group: one who gave me the chives for garnish and the other who loaned me scissors to snip them! Great people there today!

This is it!

I am sitting, waiting for my turn to audition for Master Chef! Yep, I screwed up the courage and actually am going for it! I am #180 and I think the lowest number I've seen waiting is 161, so it shouldn't take too long either.

I ended up going with my roasted winter squash soup. On the way, I tried again to get fresh chives for garnish, to no avail. I did, however, find a ginger oil and some cayenne, so at least it will be more interesting than a plain orange bowl of soup. I hope the oil also enhances the flavor a bit.

I am looking around me and people have full-size coolers, which is a little intimidating. But I really think this is more about personalities than cooking at this stage. Yes, you need to be able to cook, but would you be interesting to the viewing audience? I hope they perceive me the way my friends do! We shall see.

Master Chef

I cannot believe that I am going to say this, but....enough people are supporting me to give this audition a go!  I sent in my online preregistration and they have already called to confirm they received it.  So, the next thing is to go home and make the most amazing dish!  We got potatoes in the share last night, and there are no facilities for reheating the dish you bring, so I am going to try to make an amazing vichysiose.  I need to go find leeks and heavy cream (as well as chives, I hope) to make it.  The idea came from the potato and leek soup I made a couple weeks back.  I actually ended up eating most of it cold because it tasted so good that way.  Vichysiose is meant to be served cold and can be an amazing dish to present if you can figure out how to do a fancy swirl with the cream and you have fresh chives to garnish the dish.  My question is, how big a bowl should I bring to serve it in? (yes, we have to bring serving dishes and utensils).  I would normally serve it in a 6 oz ramekin since my stomach is tiny and I can only eat so much.  I do have pasta bowls that have nice wide rims and look beautiful, but if it's a white soup, do I want to use a white dish?  Oh the questions!  LOL!

I don't have any illusions that I am the perfect candidate for this show.  My knife skills are horrendous.  Which means if I were to make the first week, that is probably as far as I would get because they always test the knife skills the first week.  But it costs me little to try.  And I have such a compelling story, so who knows.  I have to give it a try.  Stay tuned for pictures and reports of how it goes.

To Audition or Not

 Auditions for Master Chef are coming to Cleveland this Friday. I love this show. I think because, as a member of a CSA, I get a Mystery [bag] every week. This is my way of life. What scares me about auditioning is that there are things they always do that I still need to learn (souffles anyone?). However, there's apart of me that would love to see how far I could get. Now that I am a new me, should I take a risk and audition?

Stewing Time

I don't think I could tell you the last time I made a beef stew.  It has to have been over a year now.  So, my goal this week was to put together a beef stew in the crockpot.  Stew is such a great dish for using the vegetables that we get in the fall.  Especially root vegetables like carrots and turnips.  I found out today that we are getting rutabaga this week, so I guess I should have tried to put this off another couple days, but I didn't know that last night.  So, instead of adding rutabaga to this stew, I just used up the turnips that I had in my last bag.  I decided on this recipe because it sounded different and interesting.  And I will tell you that my apartment smelled wonderful this morning when I woke up (yes, I do choose recipes for the crockpot that I think will smell good).

Slow Cooker Beef Stew with Root Vegetables
Adapted from: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/robin-miller/slow-cooker-beef-with-root-vegetables-recipe/index.html?nl=EATS_110409_12

• 1 onion*, chopped
• 4 small Yukon gold potatoes*, quartered
• 2 carrots*, peeled and chopped
• 2 medium turnips*, peeled and chopped
• 2-pounds chuck roast. cut in 1-inch pieces
• Salt and ground black pepper
• 1 jar Clark Pope's Tomato Sauce* (16-oz)
• 1 jar Clark Pope's Roasted Cherry Tomatoes*
• 2/3 cup brown sugar
• 2 teaspoons chili powder
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 teaspoon mustard powder
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder

Arrange onion, potatoes, carrots, and turnips in bottom of slow cooker. Season beef all over with salt and black pepper. Rub flour all over beef. Place beef on top of vegetables in slow cooker.

Whisk together tomato sauce,roasted tomatoes, brown sugar, chili powder, cumin, mustard powder, and garlic powder. Pour mixture over beef. Cover and cook on LOW for 12 hours or on HIGH for 8 hours.

*CSA ingredients

The "Sexy"

I am here to admit that I finally hit that moment I have hoped for since this journey began. I hit that"sexy". I'm sure you are thinking "what does that mean? For me, it was the moment that I put on a piece of clothing and thought "God, you look sexy!"

That moment is important for me apparently bevause I hit it yesterday when I found and tried on a certain burgandy velvet dress I have been dying to wear for years.  I put it on thinking it would show every roll of loose skin on my body. Instead, I saw this:

What's important about this is that it must have helped me change the way I hold myself, because when I got to work today, a woman I see several times a week decided to tell me I look good. Then went on to say "Don't misunderstand me, I'm straight, I'm married with kids, but when I saw you walking, all I could think was DAMN, GIRL!"

That is what I mean when I say I reached my sexy. Now, don't get me wrong, I know I have a long way to go, but it feels great to have people notice!

Split Peas and Chorizo

It was a busy weekend with a trip home to Michigan. I picked up the CSA Friday night from Renee and received a really nice chorizo. Since it was thawed, I spent sometime while home looking for a slow-cooker recipe to use it. I figured I could throw it together before I went to bed when I got back to Cleveland. I very quickly ran across this comforting-sounding yellow split pea soup recipe.

 Yellow Split Pea Soup with Chorizo
 Adapted from: www.food.com/recipe/crock-pot-yellow-pea-soup-with-chorizo-107162

•  1 (16-oz) pkg dried yellow split peas
•  2-1/2 cups homemade vegetable stock*
•  2 medium carrots*, sliced
•  2 cups water
•  1/2 tsp fresh-ground pepper
•  1 tsp salt-free spicy seasoning blend
•  2 small potatoes*, peeled and diced
•  1/2 medium red pepper*, diced
•  2 cups fresh com kernels*
• 8 oz chorizo sausage*

 Combine all ingredients in Crockpot. Cover and cook on LOW for 6-8 hours until split peas are cooked.

*CSA ingredients   

The BIG Milestone!

Yesterday was my six month follow-up with my PCP.  I knew that I was approaching my "BIG" milestone.  This is that milestone that makes you feel like you are on the right track and that this time, just maybe, you will make it to your ultimate goal.  Don't have one of those?  Oh c'mon, I bet you do or did.  For me, the big milestone was getting below 250 pounds.  And I mean OFFICIALLY getting below that number; verified by my doctor's scale.  When I stepped on the scale yesterday, it read.....drumroll...............................................................248.8!!!!!!!!!

Really, there was just something about getting below that mark.  Since I gained above that mark, I have never managed to get below it with just diet.  Not only that, but the last time I weighed 250 lbs was when I was 25....20 years ago!  So, this is a really big deal.  Now, why didn't I write about it right away? Well, quite frankly, I was waiting for my blood work to come back.  I know that the weight has been melting off since I started physical therapy and have been walking more.  I will admit that even though I am just as diligent as I always have been, there is a part of me that is waiting for the health issues to start.  I love my friend, Scott, to death, but he didn't start having his health issues until after I had had my surgery.  When I found out that he had ended up back in the hospital with a telescoping intestine and also issues with protein, it scared me.  He admitted to me later that he was not diligent about his diet, having become enamored with the quick weight-loss, so he probably didn't eat the protein the way he should.

The fall is a time when I am tempted to sway from my diligence because the vegetables are so yummy and only really available this time of year.  For instance, a couple weeks ago, I made a beautiful roasted squash soup.  The trouble is, there wasn't one iota of protein in the soup.  Did I enjoy some of it?  Yes!  Did I make a regular part of my diet? No.  I turned around and made a Black Bean, andouille sausage and kale soup which was high in protein.  That is what I made a big part of my diet.  Did I want to have more of the squash soup?  Absolutely!  But I also knew that I would have to eat more than I wanted to make up for the lack of protein. So, I enjoyed the aroma and gave it away to people who were more than happy to eat it for me.  And that made me feel good.  I have seriously wondered if I should consider trying to set myself up for making and selling soups.  I have discovered that I have quite a talent for making soups that are interesting and tasty that people really enjoy.  Maybe someday soon.

In the meantime, I am posting a couple pictures that I took the other night when I returned to Fashion Bug to buy smaller sizes of pants.  I am afraid that with the buyout of Lane Bryant/Catherines/Fashion Bug, the line of pants that almost fit are going to be discontinued, so it made sense to go back and get the smaller sizes so I had them available as I lost weight.  The pictures below were taken in the same night (two different locations).  On the left, I am wearing the size 22WP pants (which, btw, I am wearing right now at work) and they fit!.  On the right, I tried on the 20WP pants when I got home and was shocked to discover that I could put them on and fasten them.  They are too tight to wear right now, but it won't be long until they are the size I am in.  Remember that I posted that wedding picture before?  Well, I was wearing a size 22 in pants then too.  So, technically, I am smaller now (at 90 pounds heavier) than I was then.  I really wonder what size I will be wearing when I get to goal.  Only time will tell!

Goals

There has been one milestone that I have anticipated ever since I started this journey 13 months ago: getting to the lowest weight I have been since my mid-20's.  I have been close to that weight several times over the last 20 years, but it has always been elusive.  Today, I weighed in at exactly 252 lbs.  That is exactly 2 pounds from my lowest weight since I was about 25; 3 pounds to being the thinnest I've been since that time.  To make it even more real, I am wearing size 24WP pants this morning.....comfortably, AND with a couple inches to spare in the waist (not too much that I am pulling them up every time that I stand up, but loose enough that I know they are too big). 

My anxiety comes from the fact that I am afraid my body (and mind) are going to start their little game with me where I will not be able to lose those 3 little pounds to get to that goal.  It shouldn't happen, because I am in the first week of my cycle (more revelations about that in a minute), but I have this history of my body refusing to allow me to get past that 10 lb mark.  I was really hoping that I would reach this huge milestone before my next round of doctor appointments (starting Thursday), but time will tell.  As it is, they will not care if I make that goal because I am safely past the 100 lb loss mark.  But it would be really nice for ME if I could have that official confirmation of making that goal.  At the same time, I need to resist temptation to not eat right in order to achieve that goal.  So, I am going to be journaling this week to make sure that I don't fall into that trap.  I don't think people understand how tempting it is to do things to make that scale weight.  I scoffed for years at the stories from Biggest Loser, but I find, even though I am doing really well in the weight-loss department, that I am tempted to use some of the same techniques, just so I can have official record of my accomplishments.  I will be working really hard not to fall into that trap.

Now, here are the revelations: I crave carbohydrates at the end of my cycle.  Not necessarily the pasta and rice, etc that most people crave, but I do find I want more carb-rich vegetables and grains that last week of my cycle.  I have always known that I crave things made from corn at the end of my cycle (this has been true since I was 12), but it applies to things like quinoa and peas as well.  The trouble with this (and now I have connected all the dots), is that high carb foods encourage edema.  I have complained for a couple years that the edema issues on my legs get worse at the end of my cycle, now I know why.  With the extra edema, I have extra water weight that magically disappears when my cycle ends.  Now I know that is because I crave protein when my menstrual cycle actually starts (probably because the bleeding depletes iron stores).  So as soon as I switch my diet back to my protein-heavy, carb-low normal diet, I lose the water and I lose weight.  I think the reason I didn't make the connection before is because I ate pasta and rice and all those things before.  I don't know because they expand in my stomach and I cannot predict how much they will fill me up, so it's easier to just not eat them.  It was hard to tease out that I was that much more heavy on carbs when they were such a big part of my diet before.  Now, because they are practically non-existent, it's easy to see the difference.

So, now the question is, do I NEED those carbs at the end of my cycle?  Is that the reason I crave them?  There are some in the medical industry who say that your body knows better than your mind what you need and that you should listen to what it has to say.  I suppose the best way to find out is to be absolutely diligent for a couple months to not change my diet.  But in the end, I don't know that it is worth it.  In the end, as long as I have a net loss at the end of my cycle, isn't that what really counts?  The gains I have now because of edema are so much smaller than I they were before.  Now, I might gain 2-5 pounds during that week, only to lose 7-10 the following week.  Whereas before I would gain 7-10 pounds and lose 10-12.  It doesn't affect the way my clothes fit in the same way it used to either, so I am thinking it might be best to just leave it alone, be aware of what I am doing and move on from there. 

Beans and Kale

Today's soup helps me to use up a couple items I generally have trouble using up. The original recipe calls for white beans, but I figured it would taste just as good with black truth beans. Actually, now that it's done, I kind of like the contrast with the green kale. I was a little worried when I woke this morning because this soup looks a little plain without the kale, but I tasted it before adding the kale and it's quite tasty. I also want to note that I did not have celery, but I had a beautiful bunch of but greens. The stems have the same texture as celery and cook about the same. I substituted the stems for the celery and that worked very nicely.

 Sausage Bean Soup with Kale
 Adapted from: http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/slow-cooker-white-bean-soup-with-andouille-and-collards-00000000052371/index.html

• 1  pound  dried beans* (I used black turtle beans)
• 1/2  pound  andouille sausage links*, halved lengthwise and sliced crosswise 
• 1  large onion*, chopped 
• 1 bunch stems from beets*, chopped
• 8  cups  homemade chicken stock*
• 1  bunch  kale*, stems discarded and leaves cut into bite-size pieces (about 8 cups) 
• 1  tablespoon  red wine vinegar 
• kosher salt and black pepper 

1. In a 4- to 6-quart slow cooker, combine the beans, sausage, onion, and beet stems. Add the broth and stir to combine.
2. Cover and cook until the beans are tender, on low for 7 to 8 hours or on high for 4 to 5 hours (this will shorten total cooking time).
3. Twenty minutes before serving, add the kale, cover, and cook until the greens are tender, 15 to 20 minutes. Add the vinegar and salt and pepper, as needed.

  * CSA ingredients

Broccoli

Today did not go as planned, but I had a productive day. This week, Renee is off celebrating her anniversary, so the share is all mine. Of course, it would be a bag full of green vegetables. That includes a huge head of broccoli. Since I know that can go bad quickly, I decided to use that first. I have never made broccoli soup before, but I know it's easy to sneak protein into that versatile soup, so that's where I started.

 Broccoli Soup with White Cheddar
 Adapted from: http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1848,152190-246196,00.html

•  1 large head broccoli*
• 2 c. water 
• 3 cups homemade vegetable stock*
• 1 tsp. dried whole marjoram 
• 1/4 tsp. salt 
• 1/8 tsp. pepper 
• 2 lg. carrots*, scraped & sliced 
• 1 med. candy onion*, quartered
• 2 cups sharp white cheddar, shredded
• 1/2 c. skim milk

 Trim leaves and tough ends of lower stalks from broccoli. Cut into 1" pieces; set aside.

Combine broccoli and remaining ingredients except cheddar and milk in a Dutch oven; cover and simmer 15 to 20 minutes or until vegetables are tender.

Remove 2 cups broccoli flowerets from soup mixture with a slotted spoon; set aside. Spoon half of soup mixture into container of an electric blender; process until smooth. Repeat with remaining soup mixture.

Return soup mixture to Dutch oven; stir in cheddar and heat until cheese melts. Stir in milk and reserved flowerets.

Cook soup over low heat, stirring constantly, until thoroughly heated.

*CSA ingredients

104 down!

Today is 6 months and 1 week since surgery.  I am 104 pounds down and thought I would post a bit.  I am less than 8 pounds from weighing less than I have since I was in my mid-20's.  It's amazing that I never managed to achieve that weight before the surgery.  I got so close many times...265 was the lowest that I managed just trying to diet.  I wonder if I will manage to make 250 before my next follow-up on October 19th.  Time will tell, I guess.

I can tell that my stomach has finally relaxed some, which means that I now have to be more diligent than before.  I think what finally caused that is the UTI I had about a month ago.  I had to force myself to drink more than I had managed up to that point.  It is much easier to get my liquids in now.  I still struggle with dense meats and have found I do much better with stews or soups.  They don't seem to take up as much space.  And well, since I always have interesting produce to work with, easy for me to prepare.

I started physical therapy.  The therapist doesn't hold out hope for me to get another 20 years out of my knees.  He thinks more like 5.  But all I can do it try and see where it leads.  Already, I have gone from only being about to walk up to a half mile comfortably to being able to walk almost a mile.  So, it is helping.  I am hopeful that I will at least be able to get back to a regular walking program.  I know the only way I will get back on a bike is to replace at least the left knee, but walking would help a lot at this point.

Here's the latest comparison shot.  I tried to make sure that today's picture was at the same angle as the before picture.  I really wish I have a front-on before shot.  For some reason, they are all slightly angled.  Although I will admit, it does help me see where I need the most help still.  Angles can be deceiving (as you can see from the second shot I am posting.