My anxiety comes from the fact that I am afraid my body (and mind) are going to start their little game with me where I will not be able to lose those 3 little pounds to get to that goal. It shouldn't happen, because I am in the first week of my cycle (more revelations about that in a minute), but I have this history of my body refusing to allow me to get past that 10 lb mark. I was really hoping that I would reach this huge milestone before my next round of doctor appointments (starting Thursday), but time will tell. As it is, they will not care if I make that goal because I am safely past the 100 lb loss mark. But it would be really nice for ME if I could have that official confirmation of making that goal. At the same time, I need to resist temptation to not eat right in order to achieve that goal. So, I am going to be journaling this week to make sure that I don't fall into that trap. I don't think people understand how tempting it is to do things to make that scale weight. I scoffed for years at the stories from Biggest Loser, but I find, even though I am doing really well in the weight-loss department, that I am tempted to use some of the same techniques, just so I can have official record of my accomplishments. I will be working really hard not to fall into that trap.
Now, here are the revelations: I crave carbohydrates at the end of my cycle. Not necessarily the pasta and rice, etc that most people crave, but I do find I want more carb-rich vegetables and grains that last week of my cycle. I have always known that I crave things made from corn at the end of my cycle (this has been true since I was 12), but it applies to things like quinoa and peas as well. The trouble with this (and now I have connected all the dots), is that high carb foods encourage edema. I have complained for a couple years that the edema issues on my legs get worse at the end of my cycle, now I know why. With the extra edema, I have extra water weight that magically disappears when my cycle ends. Now I know that is because I crave protein when my menstrual cycle actually starts (probably because the bleeding depletes iron stores). So as soon as I switch my diet back to my protein-heavy, carb-low normal diet, I lose the water and I lose weight. I think the reason I didn't make the connection before is because I ate pasta and rice and all those things before. I don't know because they expand in my stomach and I cannot predict how much they will fill me up, so it's easier to just not eat them. It was hard to tease out that I was that much more heavy on carbs when they were such a big part of my diet before. Now, because they are practically non-existent, it's easy to see the difference.
So, now the question is, do I NEED those carbs at the end of my cycle? Is that the reason I crave them? There are some in the medical industry who say that your body knows better than your mind what you need and that you should listen to what it has to say. I suppose the best way to find out is to be absolutely diligent for a couple months to not change my diet. But in the end, I don't know that it is worth it. In the end, as long as I have a net loss at the end of my cycle, isn't that what really counts? The gains I have now because of edema are so much smaller than I they were before. Now, I might gain 2-5 pounds during that week, only to lose 7-10 the following week. Whereas before I would gain 7-10 pounds and lose 10-12. It doesn't affect the way my clothes fit in the same way it used to either, so I am thinking it might be best to just leave it alone, be aware of what I am doing and move on from there.
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